When I went to my first book club in Raleigh, I was shaking. But here’s the thing… I love people.
I built Dabbel the way a younger version of me would have needed it: small, low-pressure and a little playful, so the scariest parts of meeting people feel smaller.
— LeahEvery screen in Dabbel was designed around one question: how do we make this moment feel less scary?
Mixers and big meetups are built for people who find crowds energizing. If you don’t, they’re a great way to stand by the snacks for an hour and go home.
Joining an established group means being the only new person, trying to catch up on years of inside jokes.
Small talk with strangers is hard enough in person. Starting a conversation with a blank chat window can feel impossible.
Signing up for a six-week course or a league is a big commitment when you’re not sure you’ll even like the people.
Review systems that score people turn a fun afternoon into a performance.
Asking someone to hang out again is one of the most vulnerable parts of making a friend.
This is the part I most want people to understand. Social anxiety isn’t the same as being shy, and it definitely isn’t the same as not liking people. I’m outgoing. I love meeting new people, organizing things and starting traditions. And at times, anxiety still made all of it feel impossible.
What I needed wasn’t a different personality. I needed the right tools and the right environment: small groups, a reason to be there and lots of low-stakes chances to practice. Today, my social anxiety is in remission. Dabbel is the place I wish I’d had while I was getting there.
— LeahThe most recommended treatment for social anxiety is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). A core part of it is exposure therapy: gradually and repeatedly facing the social situations you’ve been avoiding, starting small, until they feel less scary. Social skills practice and support groups can help too.
Dabbel isn’t therapy or a treatment for anxiety. But it’s built to make the small steps easy to take: a short, low-stakes plan with two or three people, as often as you want. If anxiety is getting in the way of your daily life, talking with a doctor or a licensed therapist can really help.
Source: National Institute of Mental HealthA hike, a coffee shop or a class you were curious about. The activity carries the conversation.
Even one message before you meet makes walking up to the group easier.
Meet somewhere public, and tell a friend where you’re going.
You don’t have to stay all day. Showing up at all is the win.
Most people joining a plan with strangers feel the same way you do.
Research shows there’s power in vulnerability. Letting people see the real, slightly nervous you is how real connection starts.
Pick one small plan, say hi in the chat and go. The rest gets easier from there.